Nobody said anything? 9 Ridiculous real estate signs that will make you chuckle.

Seriously, nobody said anything to these people? These ridiculous real estate signs make me chuckle a little every time.


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South Peel homes

Really? I admit, it can be a painful process, but taking my appendix out with a chainsaw just seems worse somehow…








I just…anyone? My very immature sense of humor couldn’t resist this cheap laugh. Tell me, that the guy who made this sign didn’t post it on his facebook. So, no one says to B.J., “Hey (snicker, snicker) your sign says BJ worthy”. Maybe BJ is smarter than all of us, perhaps it is genius marketing. I couldn’t do it.

 Somehow I don’t think this neighborhood is “Kid friendly”


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Well, there’s some full disclosure for you. This guy should have hired a realtor though, we know how to market a home to sell, even when the neighbors are less than ideal.






18_not-haunted I kid you not, in the state of New York, you DO have to disclose if a home is haunted, because you know, that could be a big deal to the new owner. Good to know that this one isn’t though. I think I’ll pick up a few of these riders for my sellers, just to make myself giggle. Buyers wouldn’t likely forget my client’s home!





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This guy is way popular, makes a great margarita. I had no idea he was also in the real estate game.







gas refi Who wouldn’t refinance at the gas station? Luckily, gas prices are more reasonable recently, but if they go back up, there’s always this place. Local Exxon station, get gas, a burrito, and a refi. HA!









Oh dear. I’m pretty confident she meant to say deck, huge deck. Otherwise, I do believe her ad belongs on Craigs List. For the record, I would die, if I made this error, just die.












Because, who doesn’t want a pizza? I can see it now, you’re out looking at houses, you’re starving and then you see it, a house that comes with a pizza. Stop the car, that’s the one.






There you have it, 9 reasons why I like to have another person proof my work! I am all about crafty marketing for my clients, but sometimes it goes a little too far. Share any signs that you’ve seen, I always enjoy a good laugh!


Categories: Real Estate

Treating your home purchase like online dating? Why you could be wasting your time.

Treating your home purchase like online dating? You could be wasting you time!

I know what you’re doing. I’ve seen it before. You’re sitting at work, you’ve got a few minutes, and you’re surfing the web to find “the one”. Be honest, we both know you’re looking at the pictures first, maybe you’ll skim the description and you’ll decide whether you want to explore this possibility within a minute or two. Maybe you have a friend who sends you options they like for you, and I know your realtor does. Your Realtor? Yea, your realtor, because we are talking about looking for houses here. Sound suspiciously like the way people cruise and other dating sites? It does to me.

online dating

Has anyone you know ever gone on a date with someone who’s profile they were positively a fan of, only to find out that the real thing wasn’t quite what they thought it was (In some cases not at all what they thought it was)? Well, I’ve got news for you. The same is true with houses.

As a Realtor, I often get the call from a client espousing their love for a home they found on the MLS through my website or other searches like and Trulia. They love it, it’s the one. We must see it today, and so we do. Bad news, when we get there, more often than not, we marvel at the magic of photo shop as opposed to the house itself. Online tools are great for checking houses out, but don’t declare love or hate based on that alone. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind when online stalking your house.

* The pictures can be manipulated. I so often hear, “wow the rooms looked so much bigger in the pictures”, and after I push all the inappropriate jokes that came to mind out, I use words like “Wide Angle lens” and “Photoshop”. There are plenty of ways to take a great picture, and if they do a good job you only see what they want you to see. I also often see outdated pictures. Like when the realtor uses pics from before the house became a crime scene. (A bit dramatic, but seriously, some houses make you wonder). Conversely, don’t chuck a house based on pics alone. It’s a shame, but some people don’t put enough emphasis on the pictures and end up using photos that just don’t do the house justice.

* Almost everything you need to know, can’t be found in a picture. There are a whole bunch of important factors that can not come from a picture. First, because it’s my favorite, Smell. A house that became a meeting place for the stray cats of the city or one that’s been smoked in like a chimney may look great but oh my, the smell. The home’s layout will matter to you, even a virtual tour can’t give you the real feel. How about neighbors and the neighborhood in general? Sure there is google earth, but that picture isn’t from today.

Check out this Handy Dandy Graphic, from Great Colorado, use it as your guide. As always, a great realtor will advise you of these pitfalls. I like to preview homes for my clients when they think they are in love, I find it saves their time and their feelings.


Online presence is important and it’s not going away. It is key to make sure your home shows beautifully online, and I can show you how. If you are in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Paradise Valley and surrounding areas, give me a call when you are ready to hire an agent to help you navigate your home’s online presence and get you in to something you love! Visit me at my website anytime at!

Categories: Real Estate

Don’t set your house on fire for Christmas! Tips for keeping your real tree ALIVE instead of AFLAME this year.

Don’t set your house on fire this Christmas! It’s a dry heat, and guess what, it’s a dry cold too. Here in Arizona our dry weather means it is tough to keep a Christmas tree alive and well for the holiday season. Like many of my friends in beautiful, sunny AZ, I made the switch from the real to the fake tree, because like the plants in my front yard, I couldn’t manage to keep that sucker alive! My fake tree is lovely and prelit with big fluffy branches and it smells like…well…nothing. Over the years I have tried to compensate for the lack of wonderful scent with candles, live wreaths, even these weird little smell sticks that you put inside the tree. Problem is, nothing smells quite like a real tree and that’s the scent I crave. This year, I’ve decided I am getting a real tree. My house is going to smell like Christmas if it kills me. Luckily, thanks to the City of Scottsdale’s residential fire sprinkler requirements, I should be safe from my ultimate demise, barring a freak tree accident. In reality, what’s really got me concerned is the general madness I will experience by a constant dusting of tree needles all over my floor. So, in an effort to save my sanity and perhaps personal possessions, here’s what I have learned about the art of capturing and keeping your very own Christmas tree…

Local Lot, Tim Mitchell’s, sells a custom stand to keep your tree freshChristmas Tree on Stand

1.  Before you buy a tree make sure the tree needles are pliable and soft and the tree looks fresh. I believe this simple act could prevent you from the Charlie Brown tree we are all trying to avoid. If you run your fingers over the needles, and it is shedding at all in your hand, that is not your tree. No matter how pretty she looks under the beautiful glow of the tree lot lights, she’s no spring chicken. You’re going to regret that in the morning.  Of course there is always the option of getting a permit for $15 and cutting down your own tree, but lets face it, that’s pretty unlikely unless you are a Hensley. If you don’t know what that is, you’re not.

2. Assuming you are the less farmy sort, like me, you’ll buy your tree pre cut. When you get the tree, make sure you get  a fresh cut on the trunk of the tree. Any tree that has been out of water for more than a few hours, will no longer be able to soak up the needed water without being recut. Once cut, the tree needs to be put back into water ASAP. That means, don’t go caroling and light seeing and hot chocolate drinking before getting that freshly bought/cut tree in water.

3.When a Christmas tree is cut, over half it’s weight is water. They are thirsty little buggers and have to stay hydrated to last. Some trees will drink up to a gallon a day.  Make sure the stand is always full of water. One common question seems to be, add something to the water or don’t? In everything I’ve read, you can try whatever voo doo you like in your tree water, but old fashioned tap water works great.

4. Give common sense a try. Don’t use old light strings on a tree. In fact, if you’ve actually got old strings of lights that still work completely, send those things to the Smithsonian because they are indeed a rarity. Use the mini lights, they are the least likely to heat up, causing issues.  If you’ve got a fireplace, no matter how many Christmas movies make it seem like a good choice, DO NOT put your tree near it. This will extend not only the life of your tree but perhaps your own as well.

That caps off what I’ve learned about fresh cut Christmas trees. Remember, if you burn your house down this year, we’ll be shopping together for a new one by the new year. Not that I mind, but you might. Take the advice of your friendly neighborhood Realtor.  What tips and tricks do you use?

Categories: It's Local